Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Time is Up.

So it's time to start work tomorrow and I won't ramble on because I have a million things to get ready before then.  It's amazing how time flies.  It seems like just yesterday I was in a panic at the hospital about how my life was never going to be the same, and now here I am thinking the same exact thing.

I never thought leaving someone for 8 hours a day would be such a painful,heart wrenching thing.  I never thought I would wish to be a stay at home mom.  I never imagined I would love another human being the way I love Jack.  But what I need to say over and over to myself is that this is for him, to make his life better, to give him everything we can.

I worry that Jack will wonder where I am when wakes up, or that he will wonder why I am not there to sing to him all day or cuddle him when he cries.  I know he won't remember these times, but I will and I know I will spend every second of every day at work thinking about him.

For now I need to get through this one day at a time and enjoy every second I have with Jack.  I only hope it gets easier.


Kim said...

I know how you feel. I went back to work last week after being off for two months. It was very hard to leave Aiden but I know that he's in good hands. My mom is watching him. Hopefully it will get easier for you!

Adriana said...

im going back next week but only for about 20 hours spread over three days and my hubby will have my babe since he works nights. im already cringing at the idea of leaving him.