it happened...

So I have talked since this blog started about how difficult it is to leave Jack everyday to go to work.  I am actually happy I leave before my husband and Jack are awake so that I don't have to actually say Goodbye to Jack...it would make me too sad everyday.


But Friday, I had a later start, which meant Jack was up before I left.  And it happened.  Jack looked at me and said "Don't go to work Mama."  My heart hurt a little and I said what would make sense to any kid...."Jack, do you like toys?"
"Yes Mama!" he replied.  
"Well then Mama has to go to work to buy you toys."  


It didn't make it any easier to leave to go to work that day, but it seemed like a good enough reason for Jack.


I am counting down the days until Summer break.  




I hope you have a great Monday.

The absence of Wordless Wednesday...life taking over

So I wanted to post a picture of Jack or Lenny or us, or ANYTHING for Wordless Wednesday this week.  I grabbed my camera, hooked it up to the computer and there was nothing.  Nothing because I have not taken one picture in the past week.

Life is taking over.  Life is taking me over.  It's always been there but recently I feel like I have NO TIME.  No time for anything really.  I work, come home, make dinner, put Jack to bed,clean up, work out (sometimes), blog or do work and then get to bed. I wake up and repeat.
On the weekends, it's groceries, working out, seeing parents, or friends and just being exhausted.

There are so many things I want to do. I want to blog more.  I want to take more (and better ) photographs.  I want to cook better meals.  I want to work out more.

How do all of you other working moms do it?  How do you do it all?  How do you not let life "take over"?

Hopefully next Wednesday I will have a picture, and no words to go along with it.

I hope you are having a great week.  Relax a little.

 

Goodbyn Lunchbox Giveaway!!!!!

I am finally starting to get back into the swing of things at work.   One thing I always struggle with is getting my lunch ready ahead of time.  This year I have a great new way to organize my lunch and make it look extra cool. 

Please welcome Goodbyn:

On top of being bpa and lead free and made in the USA with recycled materials, this is a super fun lunch box that will also save you money as there is no need for all those extra baggies and plastic wrap (which also means you are saving the environment... bonus!!!!!).

Most of the lunch boxes come wtih  a matching 8oz water bottle and hundreds of stickers for your kids to get creative, decorate, and make their lunch box extra special.   This is mine:

There are plenty of different sized compartments for all kinds of different snacks and lunch items (and only 1 lid – so no need to spend time searching for lids in the morning).  I am able to fit my fruit, pb & j, chips, and dessert all in one easy to carry container.  And I am the ENVY of the staff at my school.

I also have a bynto for Jack to tote his snacks when we go for a day out, or just out to dinner, he loved putting his stickers on it and even named it Thomas!  As you can see, lots of room for lots of different things.

Goodbyn even sent me some of their amazing ice packs.  The packs fit into the lunchboxes, are recyclable and made with purified water!  Now I don't even need to worry about my lunch going cold...Goodbyn thought of EVERYTHING!

The best thing they thought of, in my opinion is to give away their Strawberry Goodbyn Byntos to 2 my reader!  These have 3 compartments, an 8 oz water bottle and 100's of stickers.  They will be perfect for you or for your little one to tote to school!

{{{to enter...mandatory}}}

1.  Like Goodbyn on Facebook and tell them I sent you.  Come back and let me know you did!

{{{extra entries}}}

1.  Follow Goodbyn on Twitter 
2.  Like Just Another Manic Momday on Facebook
3.  Post about this giveaway on your blog, and let me know!
4.  Follow this blog!

Contest will end Monday September 12th at 11:59 pm.  Winner will be choosen via random.org and posted on this blog.  Winner will have 24 hours to contact me.  Good Luck!

**Goodbyn graciously provided me with the lunchboxes, stickers and ice packs, but all comments are my own. 

There are days I wish I could stay at home and not have to work. I would get to spend my days with Jack and not have to worry, the house would be cleaner, and we would eat nicer meals.  In a perfect world that would be the case. But honestly, I feel that work gives me balance. It makes me truly appreciate every moment I have with him. It keeps me sane and is teaching me to become more organized and able to handle stress.  And as strange as this may sound, I think I may be a better mom this way. 

Every evening after work my husband and I say to myself "It seems like Jack has grown so much since last night!"  And as he grows, I say to myself, "This is my favorite stage so far".   I am sure as Jack keeps growing, I will say this many MANY more times.  But for now, I will say, this is definately my favorite time.

Yes I love the newborn stage.  The tiny hands and feet,  the way he laid on my chest all night, the newnesss and amazement of it all,  the way he "needed" me.  But as he has grown, there have been so many other things that I love. 

He is such a big boy now.  I love how when he sits by himself he has this look of amazement, a look of  "I can't believe this is happening!"  I love how he is no longer crabby (for the most part), from the minute I get home from work until the minute he goes to bed.  This time is now filled with playing and laughing and enjoying all the new things there are to enjoy.  I love watching the look in his eyes when he sees something for the very first time. I love that he looks to me when other people are around, making sure he is safe, and that he reaches up for me when he is playing. 

Jack may not be tiny, or lay on my chest at night or comfort anymore, but he still needs me. Working or not.  That's what I love.  I am enjoying every second of it.

Working Mom Meals #5: Baked Macaroni and Cheese

Since we are scheduled to get a big storm tomorrow this will be the perfect snowy day meal. And really, who doesn't like mac and cheese? This recipe is adapted from foodnetwork.com. 

Ingredients:

1/2 pound elbow macaroni
3 tablespoons butter
3 tablespoons flour
3 cups milk
1/2 cup red onion, finely diced
1 bay leaf
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1 egg
8 ounces sharp cheddar, shredded
4 ounces mozzarella, shredded
1 teaspoon kosher salt
Fresh black pepper

Topping:

3 tablespoons butter
1 cup panko bread crumbs

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
In a large pot of boiling, salted water cook the pasta to al dente.

While the pasta is cooking, in a separate pot, melt the butter. Whisk in the flour and keep it moving for about five minutes. Make sure it's free of lumps. Stir in the milk, onion, bay leaf, and paprika. Simmer for ten minutes and remove the bay leaf.

Temper in the egg. Stir in 3/4 of the cheese. Season with salt and pepper. Fold the macaroni into the mix and pour into a 2-quart casserole dish. Top with remaining cheese.

Melt the butter in a pan and toss the bread crumbs to coat. Top the macaroni with the bread crumbs. Bake for 30 minutes. Remove from oven and rest for five minutes before serving.

Enjoy!

Back in the Saddle

So I am starting to get back in to things at work.  This is my first full week and it is going a lot better than I thought.  Sure I miss Jack and I think about him every second and still wonder if he misses me or doesn't.  I still worry if he is mad at me when I pick him up after work and he doesn't smile right away, but I know with all of the worry, he is in good hands.

Everyday I notice new things he is doing.  Yesterday he sat in his bouncer and kicked at the fish for 30 minutes.  Its amazing how everytime he looked at the bubbles and fish it was like he was seeing it for the first time, laughing and talking to them.

I have to say looking back that those first three months were tough, with the screaming, spitting up, reflux, lactose intolerance, and I am glad they are over.  I love seeing Jack's personality come out more and more everyday,and I can't wait to see it evolve even more. 

Time is Up.

So it's time to start work tomorrow and I won't ramble on because I have a million things to get ready before then.  It's amazing how time flies.  It seems like just yesterday I was in a panic at the hospital about how my life was never going to be the same, and now here I am thinking the same exact thing.

I never thought leaving someone for 8 hours a day would be such a painful,heart wrenching thing.  I never thought I would wish to be a stay at home mom.  I never imagined I would love another human being the way I love Jack.  But what I need to say over and over to myself is that this is for him, to make his life better, to give him everything we can.

I worry that Jack will wonder where I am when wakes up, or that he will wonder why I am not there to sing to him all day or cuddle him when he cries.  I know he won't remember these times, but I will and I know I will spend every second of every day at work thinking about him.

For now I need to get through this one day at a time and enjoy every second I have with Jack.  I only hope it gets easier.